The movers arrived this morning. It is no longer possible to think about this move as something happening in the future. It is happening right now, and right now I am unsettled.
My last class at the studio was almost two weeks ago and I feel as though I am recovering from a break-up. You know those breakups where there are no hard feelings, and you both know it’s for the best, but it still smarts a bit? That’s how I feel. I miss the smell of the studio, and the statues of the Buddha and the daily exchanges with beloved students. The familiarity and comfort of a routine is so hard to give up. I find myself wondering how the classes are going and who is attending and how everybody is doing, the same way you wonder about an ex-someone.
Considering that my life will be thrown into glorious and joyful upheaval when this baby is born (in just 7 weeks!) I consider this current moving business to be good practice. As each box is filled with the familiar objects that have surrounded me in this house that I love, I am reminded of the constantly changing nature of all things. These same objects will be unpacked in our new home, and although they will be unchanged they will seem different in their new environment. Perhaps in the different light cast upon them in our new home, I’ll come to appreciate something new about each item. Just as, in a new environment and on a different continent, my perspective will shift and I’ll see the world a bit differently than I do now, perhaps appreciating things I did not appreciate before. And then, when this child joins us here in the outside world, my perspective will undoubtedly change once again.
The great thing about the challenge of change is that it can always lead to growth and expansion, if we allow it. This has been, without a doubt, one of the biggest lessons I have learned from my years of practicing Yoga. Remaining open to changing perspectives is hard but invaluable work.
Breaking up IS hard to do, but with each parting and each new beginning, comes an increased sense of Self, of connectedness, and expansiveness.
What have you learned from partings and new beginnings?